Thoughts I had in the shower this morning (it's where I do my best thinking)... have you ever envied a sibling or friends name?
My name is Jennifer. My middle name is Anne. My younger sister's name is Wren. I won't tell you her middle name, she would kill me, but it's equally as unique. As many years as she's been on this planet I don't think she's ever come face to face with another Wren. I on the other hand, meet Jennifer's ALL the time. Throughout my school years and past jobs, there's always been the inevitable "Who's going to be Jen, Jenny or Jennifer?" conversation. Being of the shy sort, I almost always ended up Jennifer. Now, don't get me wrong here, I don't hate my name, I just like hers better. It has a sense of mystery about it. It conjures up images of a beautiful, strong woman with a unique personality. And she fits it well. I suppose that's the part I always envied. What does Jennifer conjure up? Probably a friend, or family member or maybe an acquaintance you know with the same name. Boring.
As fate would have it, my father named me. Had my mother had her way, I'd be Coral Anne. I used to think about that a lot when I was a kid. I'd imagine people would call me Cory and I'd have long curly hair, not sure how since my entire family has pin straight hair, but that's beside the point. I imagined if I was Cory, I would've talked to my first crush, Brian who worked at the local Roller Den, instead of just lusting after him from afar. I also knew in my heart of hearts that Cory would have been an amazing roller skater and wouldn't haven fallen down so many damn times in front of Brian. But alas, I was Jenny. An awkward, skinny girl with scabbed up knees and pee thin hair that stands on end all winter long as if it's been rubbed by a balloon. A girl who'd rather read a book than go out. A girl who's had imaginary conversations with people she's never going to meet. The list could go on and on here.
So my final thought as I was finishing up in the shower this morning, is that a name may define you to some extent but it's all the awkward, weird, silly, awesome and strange life experiences we have while growing up that make us who we are. Wren isn't a beautiful and strong woman because of her name, it's who she is. I'm not an awkward weird person because I was named Jennifer. It's simply because I was just always awkward and weird. Epiphany moment, (this always happens near the end of the shower) I like me... I like that I am weird. Whatever my name is or might have been, I've definitely led an interesting life full of strange and unique moments. And I love it.
xoxo,
Jenn
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" ~ Shakespeare
